Here are a few common words and phrases you might hear day to day within the LGBTQIA+ community. While some concepts might be difficult to wrap our heads around at first, it’s most important that we respect people’s self-expression and try our best to welcome them as they are. Queer people are not expecting everyone to understand straight away, and mistakes here and there are just fine. As long as we put in the effort to correct ourselves, over time these concepts won’t seem so tricky to navigate and we will be creating a safer more accepting community overall.
AFAB: This is an acronym that stands for ‘assigned female at birth’ – shorthand for people to talk about their experiences with gender growing up and now.
AMAB: This is an acronym that stands for ‘assigned male at birth’ – shorthand for people to talk about their experiences with gender growing up and now.
Affirming: This is when an organisation is fully supportive of LGBTQ+ people, and is vocal and active in their allyship.
Ally: the word ally is a verb rather than a noun. An ally is someone who doesn’t identify as LGBTQ+ but actively supports the community.
Asexual: A person who has no sexual attraction – this is an umbrella term, since asexuality comes in many different forms.
Aromantic: Someone who experiences no romantic attraction. Like asexual, aromantic is an umbrella term, with many different forms and experiences.
Allosexual/romantic: Someone who is not asexual/aromantic: someone who experiences sexual/romantic attraction.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to two or more genders.
Cisgender: Cisgender people identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
Cis-het: This is an abbreviation of cisgender heterosexual – used often to indicate people who are not LGBTQ+
Coming Out: When a person first tells someone/others about their orientation and/or gender identity. This can be a daunting task, and it’s important to acknowledge how scary and difficult it is for LGBTQ+ people to come out to their family, friends, and loved ones.
Deadnaming: Calling someone by their previous name after they have changed their name. This term is often associated with trans people who have changed their name as part of their transition. Deadnaming someone can be very harmful, especially if it is done with intent to not recognise their new name and self. If it is an accident, simply correct yourself, or allow someone else to correct you, and continue as normal. Try not to over-apologise, as this just draws more attention to it, and will often leave the trans person in the uncomfortable position of having to make you feel better about something you’ve said that harms them.
Gay: typically, a man who is attracted to other men, but it is also used as an umbrella term by others in the community e.g. some lesbians may refer to themselves as gay.
Gender dysphoria: This is used to describe when a person experiences discomfort or distress because there is a mismatch between their sex assigned at birth and their gender identity. It is also the clinical diagnosis for someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth – in most cases, a formal diagnosis of gender dysphoria is required for trans people to start a medical transition, either privately or through the NHS.
Gender expression: This refers to how a person chooses to outwardly express their gender, within the context of societal expectations of gender. Everyone has a gender expression, and for most people, that expression fits within societal expectations of ‘man’ or ‘woman’. For many, though, their expression does not fit into these gendered expectations, and this can be a source of conflict or tension in people’s lives.
Genderfluid: A person who has a gender that changes over time, for example between masculine and feminine leaning.
Gender identity: A person’s innate sense of their own gender, whether male, female or something else, which may or may not correspond to the sex assigned at birth. As with gender expression, everyone has a gender identity – it’s just that, for the majority of people, that identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth.
Genderqueer: An umbrella term describing people who have a non-normative relationship with gender, whether in their gender identity, expression, or other experiences.
Intersex: A person who is born with, or develops during puberty, a body that differs from the typical male or female characteristics.
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to other women.
LGBTQIA+: A non-exhaustive acronym used to refer to the community. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. The plus sign indicates all the other identities that aren’t spelled out in the acronym. You may see it written in other ways, for instance LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+.
Misgendering: Similar to deadnaming, this refers to when someone has changed their pronouns and someone else gets it wrong. It can be accidental, it can be intentional, but it’s always harmful. As with deadnaming, if you get it wrong – don’t beat yourself up about it! Just apologise, correct yourself, and move on. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when someone’s pronouns are new, but it is important that you try, and it will get easier the more you practise.
Neopronouns: new pronouns that aren’t he/him, she/her or they/them, often coined to be gender neutral, which are often used by nonbinary people, but can be used by anyone of any gender. (xe/xir, ze/hir, etc.)
Non-binary: An umbrella term used for a person who doesn’t identify within the male or female binary. Non-binary people can look and present in many different ways, and it is polite to ask someone what their pronouns are when you meet them, and to try and use gender-neutral pronouns where you’re not sure. Regardless of what terms someone uses, they can also use any sexuality term (gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.).
Queer: An umbrella term for the community. Queer is an indicator of someone not identifying as heterosexual and/or cis gender.
Straight: A person who is attracted solely to people of the opposite sex.
Transgender: A person who identifies differently from the gender they were assigned at birth. This is an umbrella term and can mean different things to different people.
Transition: This is the process by which trans people alter their gender expressions to start matching their gender identity. Many start their transitions by experimenting with their gender expression – a new haircut, or different clothes, for instance. Along with things like changing a name and/or pronouns, this is what is sometimes referred to as a ‘social transition’. It is often the first step towards a ‘physical transition’, although not always. Not all trans people want to undergo any medical intervention, and that’s okay. Plenty of trans people do opt to transition physically, though, through Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), and various surgeries, some of which aren’t available under the NHS. It’s important to know that there is no one way to transition – that journey is personal to each and every person that undergoes this process of learning more about who they are and how they interact with the world.
TIN: An acronym for Transgender, Intersex and Nonbinary.